Archive | June, 2020

Enough is Enough When You Say It Is – Transcript

21 Jun

Enough is Enough When You Say It Is!
Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Spilling the Tea with Dr. D. My name is Daintee Jones-Clark, and I’d like to shed some light on some scripture about a woman named Tamar. Let’s spill some tea!
Father God who lives within me and every woman who invites you to do so, encourage and empower us to believe the truth of your word. Amen!
A beautiful woman asked me, how does one know when enough is enough? She is experiencing pain in her personal life and wants it to come to an end. I rebuke the spirit that is bringing that pain to her, right now in the name of Jesus, and here is the word that hopefully will set her free.
I enjoy watching a show called Greenleaf which has a character named Grace Greenleaf. Grace is a pastor of her parents’ church and has a righteous anger. In a particular episode, she leads a support group for survivors of domestic abuse that are called Sisters of Tamar. Before this episode, I had only known Tamar to be a fallen woman, so I went to the Bible to take another look.
Tamar had been abused, and her behavior showed it. After revisiting the text, it is no wonder that she chose the strategy of sleeping with her father-in-law in order to bear a child. As a youth, I saw this text as black and white and one-dimensional with Tamar being a wicked woman who lured a righteous king into her bed, and yet, today, I see much evidence of a domestic abuse survivor. Let’s visit the text. Read Genesis, chapter 38, from verses 6 to 29.
Here’s a summary of the text. A father, Judah, tells his oldest son, Er to marry a woman named Tamar. Er was wicked, so God killed him. Tamar is widowed with no children. Judah tells his second son, Onan, to marry Tamar and to give her a child. Onan has sex several times with Tamar, but spills his seed outside of her. God kills Onan for doing this.
The text doesn’t state how Er was wicked; however, it clearly states that Onan’s wickedness was using Tamar’s body without giving her the benefit of having a child. Having a male child was important for a woman’s financial well-being because her son could inherit wealth from her father and the child’s father. He could use his wealth to provide for her. She could not inherit by herself.
Since rape is defined as forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against will, one can argue that Tamar was raped since she knew Onan had no intention of giving her a child, nor did he show kindness or love towards her. Can you imagine what Tamar’s mind was like after enduring this treatment over and over? She had been physically abused, financial abused, and emotionally abused via humiliation of not fulfilling her familial expectations. After dealing with this abusive behavior, she was told to go into mourning and return to her parents’ house until Judah’s youngest son, Shelah, was old enough to marry her. Tamar did as he’d asked her and waited, only to find that Judah never intended to arrange another marriage for her as was their custom. By the time Tamar dressed as a prostitute and slept with Judah, one can see that she had possibly suffered a nervous breakdown because of suffering abuse. According to Bridges of Recovery, a domestic abuse website, some symptoms of a breakdown are diminished self-care, depression, and obsessive thoughts. Tamar shows mental diminished self-care and signs of depression by choosing a strategy that was inappropriate. She appears to be obsessed with the idea of bearing a child for Judah’s family.
Enough is enough! Tamar was tired of the abuse and negligence. She wanted the pain to end, so she devised a plan. Have you ever come up with a plan? That’s what she did, but she didn’t pray first to ask God what plan to use. Instead, she trusted her fragmented mind, a mind that had been bruised by foul treatment. She made the right decision to bring the chaos to an end, but the made the wrong decision about the means of doing it.
Are you a sister of Tamar? Have you been used and abused by someone so much that your thoughts are jumbled, and you are exhausted? Is this you? If so, I offer Jesus and his words of comfort to you. His words say that you are the head and not the tail (Deuteronomy 28:13). His words say that you are the crown that sits upon your husband’s head (Proverbs 12:4). His words say you are part of a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9). His words say weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). Speak these words over yourself.
I say these words to the woman whose husband didn’t just cheat on her with a mistress, but also has two wives at the same time. I say these words to the woman whose boyfriend beats her if she doesn’t take drugs with him. I say these words to the wife who makes plenty of money but her husband won’t help her to pay any bills, so she is living from paycheck to paycheck while he buys things for his other woman since his pocket is full from not paying any bills. I say these words to women who dress or act like prostitutes because someone shows them attention but doesn’t value their minds or purpose at all. I speak these words to all women who are sisters of Tamar. Enough is enough when you say it is!
Thank you for joining me for our first edition of ‘Spilling the Tea with Dr. D.” This presentation is from The House that Dignity Built Ministries, and if you wish to receive assistance with creating an online ministry, we can be reached at 832-862-6765 or Our ministry is covered by Dr. Harold and First Lady LaShell Gentry of Majestic Christian Center in Pearland, TX, and they welcome the opportunity to cover other online ministries that need a physical location for operation. I pray that this message has edified the body of Christ and drawn more believers to God’s kingdom because they see the truth of His word. Amen!

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